“It’s hard asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again.” Eric Kripke
Most of us have been there and some of us more times than we care to count. The physical structure of a heart and its function are so strong. It sustains us, keeps us alive, keeps us moving, functioning, existing. Yet when we experience the loss of love in our lives, it suddenly becomes the most fragile part of us. So much so, that when we break up with someone we truly loved and cared about it surely does feel like our hearts are broken and that we will of course never love again.
After a breakup, it’s natural to feel pain. Whether you were the instigator or not, the breakup will affect you in some way and often those feelings are negative. When love is taken away or you are denied it, you will be affected psychologically and this can also have knock on issues for your mental health and wellbeing.
This can sometimes lead to extreme courses of action and before something like this happens, it is best to take some steps to try and get over a breakup and to heal the broken heart. We’ve put some of our top tips below:
The first thing you need to do is accept that you are hurt and let it out. There is no point in keeping those feelings in as they will only hurt you more. Let it out, cry as much as you need. There is no shame in being sad.
Breakups do hit us hard, some harder than others, and it may be difficult to act like nothing has happened. So don’t. Take some time out, away from everything and try and take some time to soothe your soul.
This might sound like a cliché but being sad will actually help you. Turn on some sad music and sit and listen to it. Listen to the words, sing, cry and allow yourself to feel everything that’s inside. You’ll often feel tired but more at peace after something like this. This will help to normalise your grief.
Sleep, Eat, Train, Repeat
Whilst it might be tempting to throw out your normal life and replace it with a life under a duvet with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s this isn’t really all that helpful. Keep to your usual sleeping and eating schedule (and amounts) as much as possible and get out some extra anger or energy in the gym. It may be hard to do at first but trying to at least go through the motions will speed the healing process.
Be kind to yourself. No one expects you to get over these things immediately. It’s hard and you need to not give yourself a hard time and go over and over in your mind, the reasons why. Take on some self-care rituals, go shopping, take a nice bubble bath, just spend a bit of time on you.
Even if your heart instantly tries to pull itself back together after being broken and your head tells you that logically the pain will pass and you will be fine, you cannot ignore the agony of a breakup, so don’t.
Don’t try and hurry it along. It is your time to accept, reset, recharge and try to move on.
If you need an outside perspective or feel that you need some support to move forward please give us call to talk about the possibly of counselling.